COVID-19 is exacerbating the problem of educational inequity in Nigeria
Without a doubt, the Coronavirus pandemic has adversely affected all aspects of our lives. In Nigeria, the educational system has been devastated and children from poor families are bearing the brunt of it.
The Coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19) has no doubt adversely affected the global economy. It has forced many businesses to temporarily shut down and governments across the world to place a restriction on movement while exempting providers of essential services who are to strictly observe social distancing rules while providing services as a way to contain the spread of the virus.
Unfortunately, the educational sector is a part of the receiving end. According to UNESCO, an estimated 1.725 billion learners have been affected as a result of school closures, representing about 99.9% of the world’s student population as of April 13th, 2020.
Embracing technology: To cushion the effects of the pandemic, the world is embracing technological innovations. Virtual interactions are increasingly adopted to replace face-to-face engagements and limit the total disruption to many sectors. UNESCO has recommended the use of distance learning programmes, open educational applications, and platforms by schools and teachers to reach learners remotely.
These could include integrated digital learning platforms, video lessons, Massive Open Online Courses (MOOCs), and broadcast through radio and television. The success of these recommendations hinges on the use of high-technology or low-technology solutions, which are based on the reliability of local power supply, internet connectivity and digital skills of teachers, students, parents, and caretakers.
But every student can’t afford this: As pleasant as this solution is, it is said that students from under-served low-income communities will be left out and unable to access learning during this period. In Nigeria, many states have embarked on airing school lessons on radio and television and this is highly commendable.
As a teacher, you’ll play a crucial role in shaping the lives of young people. You’ll inspire, motivate and encourage a new generation of learners and guide them to make a positive impact in the world around them. A school teacher helps their students to be passionate about learning and understands the impact and importance of lifelong education. Plus, salaries and benefits for experienced teachers can be excellent.
The teaching profession is exciting and challenging. Teachers act as role models, mentors, caregivers and advisers. They can have a profound effect on the lives of their students.
Primarily, teachers will impart knowledge to their students to help them learn new things about a specific group of subjects. They find new ways of supporting their students’ learning styles and are mindful that students, especially young people, will learn at a different pace and speed to their peers. Because of this, teachers need to be highly adaptable and flexible with their lesson plans.
A creative mind, a listening ear and strong communication skills are essential to succeed in the role of a teacher. Individuals who are resilient and tenacious are particularly in demand.
Teaching is a career path that is available to anyone that has an undergraduate degree and is able to commit to achieving Qualified Teaching Status (QTS). There are several possible routes to QTS, including on-the-job training in a school where you can earn as you learn.
Most importantly, teaching is a great career choice for those who want to make a difference in the lives of young people and who are passionate about lifelong learning.
What is the role of a teacher?
The role of a teacher is to inspire, motivate, encourage and educate learners. Learners can be of any age and from any background. However, for the purposes of this guide, teachers refer to those who educate young people of school age (roughly 4-18).
Teachers serve many roles within a school environment. Gone are the days when a teacher was merely seen as a classroom educator; someone who just teaches a core subject to a classroom full of children and then goes home for the day – job done. Teachers can work across a variety of subjects which they may bring to life with the assistance of modern and interactive technologies.
A teacher’s role is to “shape the life chances of young people by imparting knowledge – bringing the curriculum to life,” says Harry Cutty, headteacher of Cantell School and vice chair of Aspire Community Trust. “When you have the right culture and systems in place, it’s more than just a job. When you get passionate teachers, they can hugely inspire young people no matter what their background. Great teachers support young people not just in education, but in life and vocation choices.”
The teacher job role is expansive. From imparting knowledge to safeguarding children’s welfare, inspiring critical thought and moral values, teachers play a central position within the community. They are often passionate and dedicated individuals with a strong desire for lifelong learning.
“I have a continuous hunger for improving and extending the knowledge of young people,” says Francesco Milano, teacher of modern foreign languages at Trafalgar School in Portsmouth. “By improving someone’s knowledge, you are improving the world – not just the big world – the one that exists within the community in which you live.”
As long as you hold a degree, teaching is an accessible career path to anyone, at any stage of their career. Education offers the potential to shape the young lives of the next generation. It’s a profession in which you can move forward and gain promotion swiftly if you achieve rapidly. Your salary will rise in line with your increased responsibility, and once you gain experience, your career path can take you in many different directions.
Teaching is also one of the very few professions where you are equally celebrated if you choose to remain a classroom teacher and not to follow the leadership path.
What are the roles and responsibilities of a teacher?
The responsibilities of a teacher are far-reaching and can significantly vary depending on the school in which you teach, your specialist subject and the surrounding community. For example, a primary teacher in a private school with a classroom of six-year-olds will have an entirely different job and career to a history teacher in a state-funded academy school. However, there will always remain some similarities across all teaching roles.
Callum Thompson, from Crab Lane Primary in Manchester, explains how “making children good members of society,” is crucial to his role as primary school teacher. “In my community, there is a high level of social ambiguity, so it’s important for me to ensure the children can communicate well and form an opinion. I teach speaking, listening, manners and communication.
“One of the toughest parts of the job is encouraging children to use their imagination and challenging them to develop consistency, empathy and emotional intelligence.”
The duties of a teacher can include:
Teaching students based on national curriculum guidelines within your specialist subject areas.
Planning, preparing and delivering lessons.
Encouraging student participation in lessons and in other school-related activities.
Supporting the leadership team to implement the school’s development plan.
Assessing and reporting on the behaviour of students.
Providing educational and social guidance to students and/or signposting them to specialist areas of advice when needed.
Ensuring the highest standards of quality and applying the most up-to-date teaching methods.
Taking part in opportunities to boost your own learning and continuous professional development (CPD).
Attending and taking part in staff meetings to support the smooth running and administration of the school.
Collaborating with parents, carers, guardians, support workers, and other professionals to safeguard and ensure the educational welfare of statemented students who may have special educational needs (SEN).
Scott Simmons, managing director for education at London Teaching Pool Ltd, a specialist recruitment agency for teaching staff across London and beyond, believes that a teacher should be responsible for catering to every student’s needs.
“As a teacher, you should have the mindset that ‘every child matters’,” he says. “We fill many temporary assignments with requirements for teachers to be strong in the classroom and competent with their subject matter.”
But Simmons also believes that the responsibilities of a teacher are deeper than that: “Helping children through their life journey, acting as a confidant and making a difference to their lives, is paramount.”
Why should I become a teacher?
So, why be a teacher? For those with a love of learning and imparting knowledge to others, the role of a teacher may be a perfectly natural career choice. Teachers can enjoy many benefits, including good salaries on a pay scale that climbs with experience, longer than average holidays, and a tremendous sense of job satisfaction. See Teacher salary section.
Not only are you imparting knowledge to others but you’re also learning about behaviours, different ways of thinking and challenging pupils. “You need to inspire others to want to learn – it’s not a profession you go into because it’s something to do,” says Kay Sanderson, programme manager for the UK government initiative Transition to Teach.
Some people leave university with a defined career path into the teaching world, whereas others discover teaching much later in life. If you’re wondering if you should become a teacher, then it’s worth knowing that anyone can join the profession, at any stage in life.
Having experience as a teacher can also lead to a huge number of opportunities.
“We call it the ‘teaching jungle gym’,” says Hannah Wilson, executive headteacher at Aureus School & Aureus Primary School. “There are now so many different pathways!”
If you have teaching experience, you can explore career options in places such as charities, social services, local authorities and councils, private or special education, or even abroad as a teacher of English as a foreign language. See the Where do teachers work? section.
“Teaching is not a career to enter in to just for the money,” suggests Sarah Vaughan, founder of homeschooling resource network, The Do Try This at Home School. “People are often born to teach. Children will remember their best teachers and it will stay with them throughout their entire adult life. I became a teacher because my grandparents were teachers and it’s in my blood. My grandparents had their own private school and they were a huge influence on me. I didn’t ever want to be anything else.”
Francesco Milano, teacher of modern foreign languages at Trafalgar School in Portsmouth, believes he has always been a great coach and communicator, so it was a natural career choice.
“I am truly passionate about developing young people,” says Milano. “I believe that you’re not just good because you’re a teacher; you’re a teacher because you’re good.”
What is the best part of being a teacher?
Being a teacher is a highly rewarding role. Many teachers will attest that teaching is one of the few professions where you can genuinely make a difference in the lives of others.
When asked what the best part of being a teacher is, Callum Thompson, primary school teacher at Crab Lane in Manchester, says: “Getting kids to be passionate about learning, especially in the tougher subjects like maths or science. And seeing kids make progress and be proud of themselves is a highly rewarding experience. Kids are amazing; they make me laugh every single day.”
The best part of being a teacher for Fran Crampton, year three teacher at St John the Baptist School in Spalding is doing something completely different every day. “There is never a day when I don’t want to go to work. We are very lucky as my colleagues are my best friends and we’re a big family. Someone is always laughing or smiling, and there’s always someone there for support.
“I have friends who have worked at schools and then left, and regretted it. The relationship that teachers have with each other is typically very close.”
“For me, it’s when someone has learned something that I have taught them,” says Francesco Milano, teacher of modern foreign languages at Trafalgar School in Portsmouth. “When, at the end of the day, a young person comes to me to say they’ve learned something today. It’s beautiful. It doesn’t get any better than that.”
Houlia L’Aimable, a retired headteacher, now a teaching volunteer at St. Elizabeth’s School in Hertfordshire – a Pupil Referral Unit for children outside of the mainstream education system – has a different opinion to offer. “I loved being in the classroom and loved doing magic tricks in science lessons. To see the children love the lessons you are teaching is a real joy.
“Gaining the confidence and trust of children with additional needs, and working with their families to bring the children back into education, are experiences that you simply wouldn’t get in a different job.
“I have helped blind children take to the slopes of Austria and France – an experience that was out of this world. Even helping some children to learn how to brush their teeth gives such a sense of achievement. You don’t go into teaching for the money, you do it for the passion.”
Society and the professional world continue to evolve and change with the growth of technology and the beginning of the Fourth Industrial Revolution. This, in turn, has had a tremendous impact on the educational sphere, leading to a number of growing trends in the world of education. For educators to properly engage their students, they must remain abreast of these latest changes and key factors that affect learning in the classroom. Their understanding of these trends can help them create more effective learning environments.
As teachers prepare themselves to implement these latest education developments, here are the five most important trends with which they should familiarize themselves.
1. Technological trends in teaching and learning
The explosion of technology over the past two decades has not left the education sector behind. Computers and the internet have changed how students can not only access information but even classes themselves. By the fall of 2017, there were over 6.5 million students enrolled in some distance learning opportunity at a degree-granting postsecondary institution. The growth of technological capabilities means that a variety of media and learning-support tools now exist to help students receive a high-quality education through the Internet.
This trend presents a number of benefits and drawbacks for teachers and institutions who want to continue to offer their students the rigorous education they need to thrive.
Technology, for example, may not encourage students to learn soft skills. They might not have the built-in opportunities to engage with their fellow students, the way they might in traditional-style classrooms. For example, opportunities for leadership on group projects will not occur as organically as they once did.
The online platform may also force teachers to change how they teach. They might find it challenging to change how they approach lesson plans to ensure that the students remain engaged even while they cannot see the instructor in person.
Fortunately, the advent of the online classroom and technology-infused instruction also offers a wealth of opportunities for instructors and their institutions. Many teachers notice immediately the greater flexibility they can offer in their learning schedule. Platforms may offer opportunities for students to watch lectures live or recorded versions later. Teachers can appreciate this benefit for students.
The online nature of these courses may also enhance the ability of teachers to offer accommodations for different styles of learning. Advanced students may receive additional learning resources and challenges to encourage them to go deeper into the material without interrupting the flow of the rest of the class.
Learning management systems can also make it easier for teachers to track how their students progress through the course. They can see how their students have engaged with the broadcast and recorded classes, therefore, they have a more efficient tracking system that allows them to provide more timely coaching as needed.
2. Soft skills training: a major trend in higher education
According to the Future of Jobs report, some of the most important skills in the workplace include critical thinking, problem-solving, people management, and creativity. Employers want to see emerging professionals who understand how to make hard decisions and showcase their leadership abilities. In an effort to prepare students for their future careers, schools must have the training in place to help students nurture and grow in these skill areas.
However, as already discussed, the simultaneous trend towards online learning does make this a challenge for many teachers. These educators will need to find a way to balance the screen time involved in their class with the importance of encouraging students to work together face-to-face to nurture soft skill development.
The institutions that uncover quality formulas for encouraging the development of these skills, however, will find that this trend offers them a number of opportunities for growth. Specifically, these institutions will find themselves with a competitive advantage within higher education. Their students will be more employable, which will improve their alumni success rates, creating a virtuous circle as future students look for schools with strong alumni success rates.
3. Student trend: decreasing attention spans
As the prevalence of technology has grown, attention spans have also changed for students. A study conducted by Microsoft looked at the attention spans overall between 2000, which was the dawn of the mobile revolution, and 2015. They found that attention spans decreased by an incredible 4 seconds-- from 12 seconds to 8. This drop has largely been blamed on the nature of technology and the constant stimulation it offers viewers.
The changes in attention span can also be used as an excellent way to differentiate between the different generations. Millennials, for example, who have largely grown up with this technology at their fingertips, have distinct characteristics from the Gen X and Boomers who came before them.
Most notably, Millennials report that when content is highly engaging, they have the potential to pay attention for longer periods than past generations. However, when that content does not engage them, they become among the first to tune out the speaker. To keep the attention of Millennials, the content presented to them must have excellent visuals and dialogue along with an interesting storyline that will hold their attention. This younger group cares more about the narrative and the visual nature of the content that interests them than other age groups.
This difference in attention can also be seen in the behavior of Millennials compared to other age groups. Among young adults, 77 percent report that they will reach for a phone when they have nothing else to occupy their attention. For those over the age of 65, however, only 10 percent report the same.
This change in attention trends also has a tremendous impact on how instructors adjust their classes and keep students engaged with the material. Teachers need to find ways to design classes that will catch the attention of their students, many of whom will fall into this Millennial generation, and adapt the course delivery method and pace. Their course design will need to remember the importance of a strong narrative and visuals.
However, do not forget that when students have material in front of them that is highly visual and engaging, they have excellent potential to pay attention. These modern students want to be challenged, and they value interaction. For teachers who learn how to engage with these students, they can present rewarding opportunities for classroom growth.
4. Facilitating learning versus teaching
As technology has grown, it has also changed how teachers relate to their students and their classrooms. With a wealth of information at their fingertips, students today have the tools they need to uncover a tremendous amount of facts and knowledge independently. In this environment, many students value less of a top-down delivery method. Instead, teachers now function more in a facilitative role. Their job has slowly evolved into a position where they help students understand how to learn, to love learning, and how to uncover and understand the information they find.
This can present some challenges for teachers, who must work on their own soft skills of leadership and problem-solving. They must learn how to foster conversations and create an environment that values team-work. The best teachers will be those who can help students take ownership of their learning.
As teachers become more involved in the students’ learning process, they will also find themselves in a position to receive immediate feedback on their teaching effectiveness. Their ability to nurture and facilitate these skills in their classroom will become obvious quickly as the class moves through the material.
Teachers who want to focus more on student development rather than simply knowledge delivery will find this new model to be intensely rewarding.
5. Life-long learning trend
Each industrial revolution has changed the nature of work and jobs in astounding ways. The current 4th Industrial Revolution may impact an incredible 50 percent of jobs as tremendous technological progress leads to changes in how people do their jobs. Professionals who want to remain competitive in their environment will need to constantly re-skill themselves. They cannot assume that an education they earned in the first half of their professional career will be all they need for the rest of their working lives.
Instead, earning a degree must be followed by ongoing learning. This requires institutions to create a self-development mindset in their students as well as their faculty and staff. Classrooms must leave opportunities for teaching self-learning skills so that students can continue to learn and engage in their chosen fields.
The schools that learn how to master these skills, however, have the chance to remain connected with their alumni throughout their careers. They can offer continual learning courses that will keep their former students engaged with the new development in their fields, and ensure that they keep coming back to the school for the support and education they need. This offers chances for schools to grow as they create new programs and adult learning opportunities to help their alumni thrive within the changing professional space.
As technology changes society, it has also had a dramatic impact on how people earn and prepare for their professional careers. The institutions that learn how to remain on top of these changes will position themselves for growth and success. Consider how these trends may impact education and what they mean for institutions of higher learning moving forward.
Written by EHL Insights | Mar 15, 2020 11:00:00 PM
Sunday 21 August 2016
How To Discipline Your Kids Using Words
Quick Summary
1. Settle your child
2. Start by saying " I WANT"
3. Walk before you talk
4. Connect before you talk
5. Use the right language
6. Give attractive choices
7. Keep it short
8. Message them
9. End the conversation
10. Be consistent
When our babies become toddlers they realize that they are a separate person from us, their parents. They develop their own will and sense of self. This is a good thing, however, the challenge lies in finding the balance between allowing our kids to be their own person and falling in line with what is expected of them.
We need to exercise discipline for the sake of everyone, so that home life runs smoothly and so that our kids grow up with respect for themselves, for others and for their environment. Using physical force or even forcing your will on a child is just not that way to go. It doesn’t work – in fact it does more harm than good.
Here are some ways to discipline your kids using your words and clever body language.
1. Settle Your Child
If your child is upset and you’re trying to give them a set of instructions they simply won’t be able to listen to you. Don’t jump in to give orders when your child is upset. Wait with them until the crying has calmed down and then try to address the topic.
2. Start by Saying “I WANT”
Rather than just giving an order like “Stand up” try, ” I want you to stand up.” Instead of “Leave your sister’s hair alone” try, ” I want you to leave your sister’s hair alone.” This works well for children who don’t like to be ordered around. You are asking for their co-operation by appealing to their emotions and they are more likely to agree.
Instead of yelling from across the room or worse still from one room to another (we all do it), walk to wherever your child is and deliver your request face to face. Remember you are the one that has got to model good behavior. If they see you yelling all the time they’ll do the same thing in years to come with their own kids.
4. Connect Before You Talk
There’s no point in asking your kids to do anything for you if you have your back to them, or you’re in another room. Make your way to where they are and face them, getting down to their level. Make sure they give you full eye contact while you speak to them. If the T.V is switched on in the background put it on pause until the conversation is over. Kids have a short attention span and they get engrossed in what they are doing. It’s very important to make sure they are full participants in the conversation by eliminating all distractions and making sure you are both face to face.
5. Use the Right Language
It can be really helpful to address a problem with a “when” and “then” solution. So for example, if you want your child to go upstairs and tidy their room but they want to go to their friends house – rather than simply laying down the law “Tidy your room now” you could try ” When you have finished tidying your room, of course you can go to your friends house.” Saying “when you tidy….” is preferable to saying “If you tidy…” as the former implies that you expect the job to be done. You are asserting your authority in a nice way that reduces the likely hood of a battle.
6. Give Attractive Choices
If your child wants something you’re not in a position to give – give them another option “You can’t go to the park today but we can go ice skating.” Although it’s not what they want to hear this is better than a flat out “No.”
7. Keep it Short
There’s really no need to ramble on when you are disciplining you kids. Keep it short and to the point for very small kids. Watch how they play with each other – they only string a few words together at a time – try to do the same. When you see your kids eyes glaze over as you continue to talk -you have lost them – they are no longer listening. Teenagers on the other hand regard too much of this type of conversation as nagging.
8. Message Them
You can leave little notes around for your kids or use messenger or text older kids. I’ve tried this and it works a treat. “I want you to do one hour of study and then we can have some of that pie we got at the store.” My teenager loved it when sent him a request by text and it worked! Kids love finding notes around the house for them. I also write “Eat Me” on their bananas and draw a little face. Sometimes they just prefer to get a break from our voices.
9. End the Conversation
If something has been decided – little Jonny is not going to the mall on his own – then end the conversation and leave it at that. If you mean business then use a tone of voice that conveys that sentiment. Jonny will understand that he only hears that tone when you mean what you say.
10. Be Consistent
If you say “No” mean no. If you say “No” and later turn around and say “Yes” you are making your job a whole lot harder. Your kids will not take you seriously until you become consistent with your directions and responses. I know it’s difficult but life is sweet when they know who’s the boss.
When you first try to turn things around, saying “No” consistently – you will have tantrums to deal with. No matter what age the child – Let them tantrum away, so long as they don’t hurt anyone. Stay calm and let them exhaust themselves. Don’t give up. Remember you are in charge!
When we are rested and free from stress it is easier to play by these rules. But in reality we get caught up in our daily struggles and everything we learn goes out the window. That said, if we manage to get in the habit of using the right language, tone and approach at the right times we will be making life so much easier for ourselves and for our kids in the longer term.
Sunday 14 August 2016
Early Academic Training Can Harm Kids In The Long Term
“Children must master the language of things before they master the language of words.” – Friedrich Froebel, founder of kindergartens, 1837
I remember a friend of mine who taught English to 6-7 year old Italian kids. She was constantly plagued by parents who kept insisting that the children should learn something about English grammar. They did not realize that their children did not yet have the logical and reasoning capacities in their brains to get their heads around functions of nouns, verbs and tenses. My friend tried explaining this to the parents but they were never really convinced. Fortunately my friend refused to give in and the kids went on learning English through playing, games, singing and drawing.
You can see the parents’ agenda, though. Their faulty reasoning is that the earlier you start getting your head round all the academic stuff, the better you will be and the greater progress you will make. They want them starting earlier and earlier on letters, numbers, homework and worksheets.
Most research shows that these parents are totally wrong. The situation is not helped by the fact that Common Core Standards set down by the US education authorities require that children should start reading and math early on. But language and literacy games and experiences are the activities which can lay the foundations for children to become expert readers. Why start too early?
“The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground.”- G.K. Chesterton
A 1930s experiment which is still valid today L.P.Benezet was a schools superintendent who conducted very interesting experiments in the 1930s in Manchester, New Hampshire. He asked some teachers to drop arithmetic from grades 1 to 5.
”For some years, I had noticed that the effect of the early introduction of arithmetic had been to dull and almost chloroform the child’s reasoning faculties.” – L.P. Benezet
This was an outrageous suggestion at the time. The results were astounding though. Children who had abandoned arithmetic were taught to count and measure things. Children were also asked to talk about topics that interested them rather than reciting things they had learned by heart. The idea was to give them hands on experience with numbers, but also to communicate and reason logically.
By the time of the sixth grade, those children who had been in the experimental classes were doing much better on tests of story problems and had a much better understanding of numbers and measurement. They were not doing too well on the standard arithmetic tests but they soon caught up. They were also still much further advanced on the story problems by the end of the sixth grade.
German educationalists were wary before implementing change
It is fascinating also to look what happened in Germany more recently in the 1970s. There was a proposal that the school curriculum should be modified. There were suggestions that there was too much emphasis on learning through play in the kindergartens. Legislators and educationalists were thinking of moving to a more instruction based syllabus. But first, they wanted to carry out an experiment.
They involved over 100 kindergartens. Half of these were to use more academic type instruction while the other half were to continue basing everything on play. No prizes for guessing which children came out on top. Those who studied through play did better on reading and math tests by grade four and they were better at coping with social and emotional challenges. As a result of this experiment and others, it was decided to hold back on academic instruction in the early years of education.
Let the children play
Pediatricians and educationalists are now convinced, more than ever, that play is essential part of a child’s development as a whole person and is an important element in the happiness and well-being of each and every child. This has been borne out by numerous research studies and also advocated by the great educationalists such as Maria Montessori and Jean Piaget.
It is crucial that child playtime is not reduced in the kindergarten or pre-school stages and also not overwhelmed by screen time or early academic training. Let the children play and learn!
“Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” – Fred Rogers
If You Want Your Children To Succeed, Do These 6 Things (Backed By Science)
Seeing your child grow up to be a success is the ultimate goal of a great parent. But raising your child in a way that ensures they achieve that success is certainly not easy. It requires patience, perseverance, dedication, and the confidence that all of your efforts will be incredibly worth it when you finally see your children actualize their potential. If you want your children to succeed, you need to:
1. Teach them social skills
Although humans are naturally social beings, social conventions are not inherent and therefore must be taught. A study conducted by researchers at PSU and Duke University showed that children who showed the ability to cooperate with and help their peers, as well as understand their emotions and work out their own problems, were more likely to experience success as they grew into adults than children who did not exhibit these social skills. Children who were not taught skills such as cooperation and patience were also more likely to end up incarcerated or abusing drugs and alcohol.
2. Have high expectations
Children will rise to their parents’ level of expectations, so it’s important to set the bar high. A study by a UCLA professor of over 6,000 kindergartners showed that when parents believe their children will end up attending college, the children perform much higher on standardized tests than children whose parents are indifferent to higher education. An overwhelming 96% of children whose parents saw college in their future performed higher than the rest of the cohort.
Not only should parents have high expectations for their children, but they should also have high expectations for themselves. A study conducted at the University of Michigan found that children are most likely to attain the same level of education their parents have over the course of their lifetime. Unfortunately, this means that those who become pregnant as a teenager and do not pursue a college education, or do not complete their high school studies, are likely to raise children who end up dropping out as well. Parents who set the bar high for themselves will in turn have great expectations for their children as well.
4. Build a solid relationship with them
All of the previous points made throughout this article can only come about if parents foster a caring, nurturing relationship with their children. Doing so lays the foundation on which a successful life can be built. By building a solid relationship with their children, parents can begin teaching them the social and life skills needed to succeed. They can also maximize their children’s potential by setting high expectations early on to ensure their children get a head start in life. Finally, by being there to celebrate their children’s accomplishments, parents can instill in their children the notion that the reward for hard work is the successful feeling that comes over you after having reached a specific goal.
5. Be less stressed out
Parents who are constantly stressed, whether from work, school, or family life, will ultimately pass this stress along to their child. A decent amount of stress can be a healthy motivator, but too much stress can be incredibly detrimental to your health. “Helicopter parents” are those who are so stressed out about their children’s lives that they become much too overprotective; by doing so, they add stress to their children’s lives with every step they take. As a parent, you’ll undoubtedly face many stressful situations in your life. However, you must never allow your child to know just how close you are to your breaking point.
6. Value effort over innate talent
Pointing out your child’s gifts is natural for parents. Knowing your kid is an incredible musician or athlete should definitely make you proud. However, praising your child for a gift they were born with may actually be doing them a disservice. They may start to develop a fixed mindset, meaning they either believe they’re naturally good at something, or not good at all. On the other hand, praising a child’s effort when completing a specific task will nurture a growth mindset: the idea that they can become good at anything they put their all into. By cultivating a growth mindset in your children, you change their way of thinking from “I can’t do this!” to “I can’t do this…yet!”
7 Signs That You’re Making Your Children Narcissistic
Narcissism is defined as the excessive interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance. Vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-centeredness. Many think that the number of narcissistic children in western civilization is rising. I have created this handy dandy list for you to reference and see if certain things you are doing on the parenting front could be contributing to your child becoming narcissistic. Using this list I was able to even find some points where I may be going slightly astray (and we know how perfect I am!) Without further ado here is my list of 7 signs that you’re making your child(ren) Narcissistic.
You lead your child to believe they are infallible.
This can be done by over praising. Putting your child on a pedestal is easy to do because you created them, but acknowledging faults is human. It’s a healthy thing to be able to see that everyone has weaknesses.
You compare your child to other kids and tell them how they measure up.
Around age 7 or 8 kids start to compare themselves to others. It’s important that you aren’t putting undue pressure on them to be better then their peers at everything. Don’t compare to Mikey and tell them where he comes up short.
You view affection as something to be earned and therefore show little warmth.
This could be difficult to recognize in yourself I suppose, but if you are only hugging after a job well done or for specifics tasks completed. There is a difference in affection and appreciation versus making your child feel like they are better than others. You can love your child and think they hang the moon, but you don’t have to put down or take anything away from anyone else to do that.
You model behaviors such as inability to hear criticism.
We all know that one adult who can’t bear to hear that they are wrong. That can’t take any type of reply to their ideas or opinions other than “yep,” Don’t be that adult. You are better than that, and your child needs you to be better than that.
You Excessively Brag and Make Excuses for Your Child
Can we be honest here? You should be proud of your kid. Your kid probably does something fantastic stuff that mine can’t do. However it’s ok too if your child messes up. In fact it’s better if they mess up while they are children, so they learn to handle that. If you make excuses for their behaviors instead of showing them how to deal with not being perfect- you are missing out a learning opportunity for the child. And as it turns out you may be raising a narcissist.
You Speak Badly of Anyone That is “Different” in Front of Your Child
This one is trickier and trickier it seems. In a time when we are so enlightened it seems that everyone feels shamed for their views. There is a difference in pointing out how you disagree with a religion/belief system and trying to prove you are superior to it. Expressing superiority in regards to age/race/gender/sexual preference – gosh, just please don’t do that. Let’s be past that in this generation, okay?
You Recognize Narcissistic Traits in Yourself and Don’t Take Steps To Get Better
There is a hereditary component to narcissism. There are personality traits that is a person is born with. However if you feel like you have some traits that fall into the Narcissistic column and you don’t get some help before having a kid… it may be time to re-evaluate now. Some day when you are in the old folks’ home and your grown-up child is too wrapped up in him/herself to visit you, you will possibly regret not taking some time to work on these things now.
If you are interested in more information on this that is less opinion and more scientific please go to this link to find what the Washington Post wrote about the subject. I found it extremely interesting and well written.
